The Celebration of That

Nikki's story of the Golden Buddha made me think of the poem I read, published in the latest issue of The Yoga Journal. The magazine also suggested memorizing it, using it as a mantra of sorts, relishing in the pauses between lines. How does something become more meaningful after memorizing it? I don't know, but I know it's true.

Playfully, you hid from me
All day I looked.

Then, I discovered
I was you,

and the celebration
of That began.

-Lalla (14th cen.)

Your inner Buddha

So, now we are entering week 6 of the 60 yoga challenge, and as Crystal said, I believe we are doing smashingly well. I kind of feel like I am just in the groove, so not too much to report, no earthshattering awakenings or discoveries, just keeping on keeping on.
There have been the bumps in the road and I have to confess my enthusiasm has waned a bit. I am down to about two classes a week and practicing at home most of the time. I was having some knee trouble for a week or so and that slowed me down, more so it was just discouraging. But that has resolved itself and I have been feeling good.
With my home practice, since its mostly the same DVD over and over, I have definitely noticed increased stamina and strength. At class, too I feel stronger and I know most poses so I can really fine tune my breathing and which muscles engage.
Oh – I finally figured out where my sacrum is!! That has been enlighting!!! They always talk about your sacrum and what to do with it – but I was never really sure where it was, but rest assured, now I know!
Over the next week I commit to finding my lost enthusiasm! I am going to figure out what my apple password is and download some yoga apps to my itouch and check out some of the yoga classes Crystal has suggested. Oh and this blogging thing, I want to get better about that. Its just hard sometimes to think that I really have something to say! But I know its more about just talking about my experience and what I am feeling and not so much about feeling like its going to interest somone else. Its more about me and less about you! Ha ha! Just kidding! I’ll try to be interesting too.
I do want to share a story about the Golden Buddha that I heard in the relaxation and restoritive workshop I went to a few weeks ago. So in this tiny little village there was this gigantic clay buddha statue. All the people in the village were committed to the maintenance and upkeep required for the statue. It had always been there in the village and so with every generation they would take care of it. It would dry out and crack and someone would come along and smooth out the cracks and fill them by applying more and more clay. One day a young man noticed a very small but deep crack in the buddha. He reached his hand and arm into the crack until he hit something smooth and cool. When he peaked in he could barely just see a glimmer of gold. He began to pull apart the clay bit by bit and eventually got to the center and found a beautiful giant pure gold buddha statue. At the center of the worshipped clay and dirty statue was a brilliant and priceless statue. We are all the golden buddha. We spend years and years packing on clay around us for a variety of reasons, when our true being is brilliant and beautiful.
So, channel your inner buddha and be brilliant!
Namaste.

Blog Pose

Looks like Nik & I are better at doing yoga than we are at blogging. :) In case you've been reading, and in case you doubted our success at this challenge, I can say with conviction that we haven't failed!! We're 35 days in, and there have only been a few small bumps on our way to total success.

Things I've noticed:

- I need to start believing my arms are strong enough to hold me.
- I'm both afraid of and compelled by being upside down
- I'm more focused
- I'm calmer
- My insides are quieter

Now, I need to interject here. This "quieter, focused, calmer" thing -- well, you often hear yogis talking about this. Yoga teachers, especially. "Doing yoga regularly will help develop your sense of focus, concentration. You'll be more able to deal with whatever life throws at you... blah blah blah." What does this mean in real life? For me, it means the little voice that pops up when I'm nervous, out-of-my-element, or trying to figure something out and loud-whispers, "Wrong!" or "You're going to screw this up . . ." or "What if ________ happens!!??!!" -- it doesn't really go away, but I seem to be more able to convince it to shut up, or that it's wrong entirely. So, on with the list:

- I'm committed to doing a handstand within the next 5 years
- I believe I can keep trying for 5 years without getting too mad
- Singing mantra makes the body feel good
- Deep breath work helps me sing easier
- I've spent about 20 hours in the last month really examining the tops of my feet.
- I like the tops of my feet
- It's hard to find a good yoga mat. New yoga mats are slipperier, too, so it's hard to tell if your new mat is better than your old one.

I found a pod-cast (free) and Iphone app ($3.99): Elsie's Yoga Class. It's a yoga teacher who live-records some of her classes. It's truly like being at a class. This solved my problem of being very tired of my yoga Warrior Video with Sting's wife. Now, I have about 80 classes to choose from -- varying lengths, challenges, and focuses (foci?).

About twice a week, I've been going to Five Elements studio, which I mentioned earlier. Juliet is spiritual and nurturing and always able to put together a thoughtful class. I recently bought rose oil and aryuveda incense from her. She's teaching me about aruveyda principles and helping me love my life even more.

So, no more talk of failure! Yoga is going well. I haven't lost a lot of weight. I don't feel like I'm even that MUCH better at yoga than when we started. However, my clothes fit a bit differently and mostly, my mind is more stable. I can almost do half-moon pose. I still hate revolved triangle, but I keep trying.

So, yoga's either teaching me insanity (doing the same thing over and over with only slightly different results) or persistence.

I "C" your Failure

Me too. I did not practice yoga yesterday. I think this might make both Crystal and I feel better actually! So, I attended a 3hr yoga workshop on Saturday and I felt like that may have floated me through Sunday. I can't say that I had the crazy busy day that Crystal had, but I had had a relatively busy Friday and Saturday and most of Sunday!
The worse part is I was thinking of letting it float me another day - - - you know, three hours on Saturday works out to one hour for Saturday Sunday AND Monday. But thankfully I saw Crys' note today and it inspired me to suck it up and crank out 45 minutes yet tonight. Or maybe just the 15 minutes, the squats she described kind of sounded like fun.
Tomorrow is Bikram yoga and back on track from then on!
Hey - we are entering our 4th week and I say we are still doing great! Love you Crys - you are truly and inspiration! Thank you!
namaste

Failure #1

Well, I have to be the first one, I guess. I missed one of my days of practice.:( I went home for Easter weekend, visiting both mine and Todd's families, which is a good thing of course. But, though Easter was a great day for Jesus and all Christians, it wasn't so good for the 60-day yoga challenge. I did do my 15-minute yoga routine in the guest bedroom at my in-laws, complete with crazy, bouncing Kundalini frog bounces (where you squat on your heels with your knees bent and hands on the floor, and then you lift your rear-end so your knees straighten out, ending up in a forward fold. You do that -- kneel, straighten, kneel, straighten -- 26 times so your Kundalini energy really gets pumping). I did two minutes of yoga bicycles (like ab-crunches) and dolphin pose to work on my belly and arms, which really, really need to be stronger. So, I was feeling good about myself. Then, Saturday night into Sunday early morning, I absolutely couldn't sleep. Technically, I could kind-of cheat and say I DID do my yoga, because the whole night, I was practicing pranayama -- yogic deep breathing -- in an effort to fall asleep, but it seems my body and mind just couldn't quiet enough to allow me to sleep.

Needless to say (but I'll write it anyway), I had a great Easter day. I went to church with my parents, spent the day with both of my beautiful, inspiring grandmothers, my lovely sister and her husband and new puppy, and my husband. We ate an amazing dinner -- my dad grilled salmon with dill and lemon, and we made and ate our Ukrainian favorite, petihe, which is like a pirogi -- and we all laughed, talked, and relished the new spring sunshine. After it was all over, Todd was a dear and drove us back home in just under four hours. We got home and my body just quit. It said, "GO TO BED OR GO CRAZY." So, I took opted for my bed. There was nothing left in me for yoga that day.

Always in yoga, we are to remember to be kind to ourselves, so I'm trying not to feel guilty. This morning, I found a cool yoga podcast, where a teacher records her actual class in LA. I downloaded 11 new 1.5 hour classes, and I'm about to slip on the yoga pants and see what she has to offer. I'm still tired, but I know by 7PM tonight, I'll be back on track, energized, limber, and at peace. I didn't do yoga yesterday, but I'm going to do it today, tomorrow, and barring another interruption, another 39+ days in the future.

Namaste.

I can dance (by nikki)

Okay, so we are on day 18 of the 60 day yoga challenge. I am in sort of groove when it comes to practice every day. I don’t stress out about “How am I ever going to get to the end of this challenge” – I just take it one day at a time. If I don’t plan out the class I am going to take, I just end up doing a DVD at home. I still think “Man, I really want to skip out on this today” – but the next thought is “But, I won’t, so how and when *WILL* I practice Yoga today?”. The sore muscles I had my first week have mended and become stronger, but new pains and twinges are surfacing. My joints hurt. My elbows, wrists, ankles, shoulders and spine. I know it has to do with proper alignment, perhaps rushing in/out of poses, overextension of the arms and legs, and ‘sagging’ into poses instead of using the correct muscle groups to hold strong. I will work on that with intent these coming days and weeks.

My current plan is to take classes on Monday, Tuesday and Saturdays, and the other days practice at home. I am not sure when I will go back to that Hot Flow class. I don’t want to be bested by the class and not return out of fear. But, to be honest I am scared to death to go back! Before the end of the challenge, I will try it again, but for now I am putting it on the back burner.

I went to my Monday class and it was amazing. It was tough and challenging , yet the instructor is so nurturing and helpful. The energy in the class was also really flowing . . . but I didn’t really realize it until after class was over!! Everyone felt it and was commenting on what a great class it was. I’m not I can even articulate what was so great about the class, but it was just what I needed.

I bought some new DVD’s this week: Yoga Trance Dance and something like “Yoga for Happiness”. I haven’t tried the Yoga for Happiness, but from what I can tell it’s a hippy surfer yogi instructor, which I think is going to be hilarious! Now I did try the Yoga Trance Dance and its as ridiculous and funny as it sounds! Imagine you’re back in college, in your friends basement, listening to The Dead Can Dance or some other trippy music and you have a spontaneous dance party and you’ve pretty much got it! But its great fun and different, which is good. Its like a guided meditation while dancing! There are segments that seem more Yoga related that I haven’t tried yet, but the trance dancing is liberating while kind of embarrassing! Its exploring all the different ways your body can move and since I have never really been much of a dancer of any sort – its challenging for me!
This weekend I am going to a workshop for yoga resotoration and deep relaxation! Sounds like fun!!!
namaste

Opening Your Tear Ducts (crystal)

Last week, I went to a Yoga II class at a studio called 5 Elements. I've been practicing mostly at home, using videos, TV shows, and my limited knowledge, so going to a class was something I'd been wanting. Part of the joy of yoga, to me, is the chance to turn my mind off for awhile. I like to do yoga with my eyes closed as much as possible, and having to watch the video or the TV limits my ability to do this. Going to a class gives me the chance to just follow the words of the instructor, not having to think about what to do next, if I'm doing it correctly, or what I should do during the commercials. The instructor is there to correct me when my form is off and push me to challenge myself.

This studio's instructor is focused on aruveydic medicine, an ancient, Indian health system, which is too complex for me to find a way to explain it in a few words here. There's more info on this on the weblink already posted, so if you're interested, I'd suggest reading more there. We began the class seated on our mats, listening to our instructor discuss her recent experience at a yoga workshop led by her teacher. We leared a sanskrit mantra, which is much like a prayer that's sung. She gave us a sheet of paper containing the words, and we learned by call and response. Once we had practiced, we sang it through three times. The chant was intended to provide a sense of courage and protection, as we were reminded that living an examined and compassionate life devoted to love (as yogis are reminded to try to do) can be lonely and challenging.

After our chant, we moved into asanas (poses). As this was an advanced class, the poses were sometimes difficult. We worked on Sun Salutations, Warrior I, II, and III. We did Extended Side Angle, Revolved Triangle, Inverted Splits, and Half-Moon. As we sweat and our muscles trembled, there was a bit of grumbling, a bit of groaning, and instead of encouraging us to rest if we were tired, our instructor encouraged us to give thanks to the muscles in our legs for continuing to hold us up. "You are stronger than you know," she said. As she moved us into Half-Moon, we grumbled more. She reminded us that we were in a season of transition, moving through spring into summer. "This is the time of year to make changes in your life," she taught. "As you practice, take time to do at least one pose that you hate, that is difficult for you. Then, follow it with your favorite pose, the one that gives you confidence. This is the kind of balance to strive for now. If you love getting massages, get one in the next few weeks -- do something you love. Then, if you fight often with your mother, make sure you work on that, too. Find the balance -- work to strengthen your weakness and tend to your passions."

We finished class with pranayama (focus on breath/breathing) and a nice, long savasana. She offered us a healing essential oil to rejuvinate us and a selection of teas to drink as we ventured home. She offered us recipes for seasonal nourishment which we were to "create, eat, and share with love." I left with my muscles quivering, by my spirit warmed.

When I got home, I felt quiet. Todd was making dinner, so I was helping, putting dishes in the dishwasher, slicing a cucumber, washing the cutting board. "How was practice?" he asked. "I feel kind of strange," I said, some intangible emotion bubbling under the surface. "Are you okay? You look like you're going to cry," he said. And then I did. I started crying without knowing at all why.

It wasn't really a sad crying, nor was it a happy crying. It wasn't an exhaused crying or a hormonal crying. I'm still not sure what it was. When I seached "crying after yoga" online, I found that it's pretty common. Yoga works to connect the mind and the body, so if the mind is hanging on to an emotion that isn't expressed, we theoretically "store" it somewhere in the body. After a rigerous practice, emotions are released as the muscles open.

So often I think of the mind-body connection as being one dominated by the mind. If I'm stressed out, I get sick. If I'm nervous, my stomach gets sick. Rarely have I know it to be the other way around -- if my body opens, my mind does, too. But I saw that connection last week, and I've been trying to keep that knowledge with me. My resistance or dread for ANOTHER day of yoga comes from my body as much as my mind, and the challenge comes from remembering that the two are always connected. It might not sound as surprising or as monumental as it felt, but it was a big breakthrough for me. Thank you yoga and Juliet Trnka (instructor).

Namaste.

Its a Celebration! (by nikki)

Its a celebration my ass! I'm half kidding. I do love, at the end of yoga practice the honor paid to one's body, to one's spirit, to one's energy. Celebrating the time spent in practice, celebrating your body and your abilities. I am exceedingly blessed to have a body that moves, that is healthy, that can accept this yoga challenge and perform.
HOWEVER, I seriously thought I was going to pass out and/or vomit today. I may have even puked a little in my mouth! I attended a Hot Yoga Flow class. I went to the same class last Wednesday and it was hard. Super duper hard. I couldn't do everything, I had to take breaks when no one else did. Today, I was nervous to go, but I feel like I am stronger, I was feeling positive that I would do better today, that it might just suck a little less this time. Because the first time, the first class is the hardest, right? Not always. Today, I had to step out of the room. I have never done that before. Leading up to that, I was taking breaks, I wasn't able to do everything, I was trying, but my focus wasn't there, I was stumbling, I wasn't strong. Although, at the beginning I did do better than last week. But, it didn't last. So, I feel sort of defeated. I feel embarassed. I was that guy in class who couldn't do it. I know it was difficult for everyone, but when I had to break, I was the only one. I'm sure I wasn't, all the time - but it sure felt like it.
So - it really was a celebration . . . when it was OVER. But, also a celebration of day 10 of the yoga challenge. A celebration of my commitment to myself and my body and to my friend!

The Hot Flow and Hot Bikram are 90 minute classes practiced in a room heated to 105 degrees. It helps your muscles go deeper and allows you to hold poses longer than you may be able to otherwise. They are also very regimented . . . its the same class , well, the same moves - each time. This is is great because your muscles remember and you are able to see results, fast. They are beginner level classes, but they are hard. The heat can be oppressive at times, the sweat makes the mat slippery, you can't hang on as well, your face is dripping, your hair is crazy, your face is red and your head is thumping. But, afterwards, it feels like you just had a sauna and a massage!
Its only through pushing to your edge do you improve. I just wish I could have done more tonight.
Next time!

Breath is the only thing of which you have control

Crystal likes to blame me for things!! Ha ha!! Its true, I am always coming up with ways to make grandiose sweeping changes to my life in the hopes that it will help me loose a few pounds (try 25!) or help me sleep better or make my skin nicer or keep my mind and hands occupied. But rarely do I ever follow that idea through to the end. In fact, the only time I can think that I actually did was when I finished the Portland Marathon in 2003. Holy crap - that was 7 years ago! So, that fated email I sent about the 60 day yoga challenge was really just one of many great ideas that never really come to fruition. When Crystal came back with “I have thought about and decided that I want to do the 60 day Yoga Challenge” I was all “OH – YEAH, I had kind of forgotten about that”!! You see, I usually don’t really tell anyone about my schemes, because that way if I don’t end up accomplishing it – no one asks me about it later! Of course, that makes it all too easy for me put it off, or make excuses or just stop completely! But, we have made this one public – so there is no escaping it now.

So- we are exactly one week into the 8 week yoga challenge and we’re doing really well! Looks like Crystal has shared some of her accomplishments this last week – way to go!!! I went to 5 different 60min+ yoga classes last week and did one 15 min practice on my own with a DVD and then a 50min. practice at home with a DVD as well. Last Monday I was kind of freaking out about this challenge . . How could I keep this up for 60 days- How was I going to make it to a class every day, how was I going to pay for it all, how would we jockey the dog so he wouldn't be alone for too long, what was I going to wear everyday, what if I couldn't make it through a class, what if I wasn't strong enough to do the positions, would I be the biggest person in class, won't other people be judging me, I've never blogged before, I don't know that I want to tell the world what I am doing . . . and I hadn’t even made it through one day! But now, its feeling more manageable. I have a tendency to become paralyzed by thinking about all the things that could get in the way of making it to my goal, so this has been an exercise in dealing with that negative self talk as well. Every day that I do what I set out to do- the more empowered I feel that , indeed, I can do it. It’s a vicious circle, but in a good way!

Here are a few of my experiences/observations from this past 7 days . . .

· Don’t eat Thai food for lunch and attend a hot class 5 hrs later
· Kitties and puppies are NOT good yoga partners – although they are VERY curious about it
· I thought I would do the Hot classes 4 days a week – but its looking more like 2 days
a week – hopefully as I get stronger I can increase that
· Don’t stand next to the thermostat – at one point in my Hot Flow class it was 107
degrees!
· During practice - it can suck, royally . . . bu I soon forget about that afterwards and
am just proud I made it through another day
- Sometimes downward facing dog is a rest position
- I gotta get my mind off the clock DURING practice . . . Suggestions?

Oh and to set the record straight . . . I don't watch Oprah either, but I sought out the article about one women's 60 day Bikram yoga challenge after my yoga instructor asked if we had read it. Not that I have a problem with Oprah, I have far far far worse TV addictions than that . . . but that is another story.

namaste

The Challenge! (by Crystal)

I'm not sure what started this, but I know who started it. Nikki. Nikki is devoted to shaping herself into a healthier person, and she knew I was looking for a hobby. She probably also knows that I should be devoted into making myself a healthier person.

One day, I received an email asking if I would be interested in doing a 60-day yoga challenge like the one she saw on Oprah. I didn't watch Oprah or read the link she sent, but I agreed to it anyway. I love yoga, and I feel better when I make a habit of doing it. I thought -- 60 days of yoga? Sure. I can do that.

Nikki has been going to classes, and I'll let her tell you all about them. I set up a studio at my house, and will be mixing in a few classes here and there. I have a less-predictable schedule than Nikki, so being able to set myself up at home made this process more do-able. I intend on posting pictures of my studio and reviews of some of the at-home practices I've been doing in the near future.

Our rules are as follows:
- do yoga (any style, any level) for 45 minutes at least 6 days a week.
- do yoga (any style, any level) for 15 minutes no more than once a week.

The rules are basic, but the committment, one week into it, is surely a challenge!

I've done mainly Ashtanga flow classes thus far. I threw in a neat Kundalini class the other morning, and this morning, I found I was able to guide myself, in silence, through a complete 45 minute practice that actually had me sweating! I'm not sure I intend on changing my WHOLE life through the challenge (as Oprah's blogger wanted), but a daily devotion to my body and breath just might have that kind of result.

On the blog, Nikki and I will be posting our observations, experiences, challenges, successes, and perspectives on all things 60-day, yoga, and challenge related.

Remember, breath is life. Namaste.